Difference between revisions of "General tips for productive communication"
From apm
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* (You may also want to reaffirm others understanding of your point in cases.) | * (You may also want to reaffirm others understanding of your point in cases.) | ||
| − | * Often the problem of in disagreement is lack of precision of language. <br>Different people associating the same words and concepts with different things. <br>Always be on the lookout for that. And if you detect this situation. <br>'''Try to clarify sub-contests and which sub-context you (want to) talk about.''' | + | * Often the problem of/in disagreement is lack of precision of language. <br>Different people associating the same words and concepts with different things. <br>Always be on the lookout for that. And if you detect this situation. <br>'''Try to clarify sub-contests and which sub-context you (want to) talk about.''' |
== Avoid language that can (unnecessarily) be perceived a personal attack == | == Avoid language that can (unnecessarily) be perceived a personal attack == | ||
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== Avoid unnecesary conflict == | == Avoid unnecesary conflict == | ||
| − | * If a conversation is not productive aim at ignorance as reaction rather than further engagement. <br>Either worldviews are just too far apart. Or there is active opposition for whatever reason. One related thing is the "don't feed the trolls" thing. | + | * Generally avoid confrontative tone |
| + | * If a conversation is not productive aim at ignorance as reaction rather than further engagement. <br>Either worldviews are just too far apart. <br>Or there is active opposition for whatever reason without skills for productive communication from the other side. <br>One related thing here is the "don't feed the trolls" thing. | ||
* Always assume incompetence before malice. Worst case it may even be your own incompetence. | * Always assume incompetence before malice. Worst case it may even be your own incompetence. | ||
* Always avoid unnecessarily agitating a hornet nests. <br>Actively start discussions with perceived allies, Reactively talk with perceived enemies. | * Always avoid unnecessarily agitating a hornet nests. <br>Actively start discussions with perceived allies, Reactively talk with perceived enemies. | ||
| + | * IMO (in my opinion) is helpful to make clear you are not stating things as a hard fact (that must be defeated) but stating things as your own opinion. | ||
== Aim for self improvement == | == Aim for self improvement == | ||
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* If possible don't haste in answering. There's both an emotional response cool-down and analytical understanding of the discussion can grow too. (Difficult to impossible in live talking, of course.) | * If possible don't haste in answering. There's both an emotional response cool-down and analytical understanding of the discussion can grow too. (Difficult to impossible in live talking, of course.) | ||
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| − | * Always be modest and honest with yourself. Look for own errors (everyone makes them), detect them, try to understand them, | + | * Always be modest and honest with yourself. Look for own errors (everyone makes them), detect them, try to understand them, learn from them, and explain them to yourself and others. Sometimes that's a matter of hours, sometimes a matter of years. No one said life is easy. |
== Related == | == Related == | ||
Latest revision as of 12:23, 11 February 2024
Contents
Advertise only if needed and if so do it smartly for others not too annoyingly
- Try to stick to the context, avoid hijacking discussion of other topic for own purposes.
- If you can afford it, be passive rather than active in advertising your agenda.
- Try to be flexible not forcing your own narrative too much.
- Try to balance talking and listening / writing and reading. You may be surprised by listening more.
Aim for mutual understanding and correct interpretation
- The very same words can be and are interpreted very differently by different people. Always be well aware of that.
- Unless you are convinced that you understand quite well what someone wants to say:
Try to reaffirm your understanding of the said by restating the point/statement/question in your own words and ask for confirmation. - (You may also want to reaffirm others understanding of your point in cases.)
- Often the problem of/in disagreement is lack of precision of language.
Different people associating the same words and concepts with different things.
Always be on the lookout for that. And if you detect this situation.
Try to clarify sub-contests and which sub-context you (want to) talk about.
Avoid language that can (unnecessarily) be perceived a personal attack
- Try to stick to I messages. Emphasize things are your opinion that you don't plan to force it on anyone but just want to present it.
- Try to avoid to use language that classifies people in in-group and out-group intentionally. And be aware of that this can happen accidentally.
- Depending on context think about if you want to use the word "you" (personal) or "one" (impersonal). Be careful with mixing. But it can be done. Other languages than English (like e.g. Japanese) may behave a bit differently here.
Avoid unnecesary conflict
- Generally avoid confrontative tone
- If a conversation is not productive aim at ignorance as reaction rather than further engagement.
Either worldviews are just too far apart.
Or there is active opposition for whatever reason without skills for productive communication from the other side.
One related thing here is the "don't feed the trolls" thing. - Always assume incompetence before malice. Worst case it may even be your own incompetence.
- Always avoid unnecessarily agitating a hornet nests.
Actively start discussions with perceived allies, Reactively talk with perceived enemies. - IMO (in my opinion) is helpful to make clear you are not stating things as a hard fact (that must be defeated) but stating things as your own opinion.
Aim for self improvement
- Always try to be as factually correct as you are capable of. (This is easier with STEM topics than with say highly controversial stuff in politics.)
- Avoid using arguments that you don't understand yourself sufficiently yet to answer common followup critiques.
- Maybe your point is good but your argument is bad. See: The negative effects that public overexcitement can have
- If possible don't haste in answering. There's both an emotional response cool-down and analytical understanding of the discussion can grow too. (Difficult to impossible in live talking, of course.)
- Always be modest and honest with yourself. Look for own errors (everyone makes them), detect them, try to understand them, learn from them, and explain them to yourself and others. Sometimes that's a matter of hours, sometimes a matter of years. No one said life is easy.
